The Aftermath of Thor's Bachelor Party
by gythia
Summary: A silly little story set between Thor's bachelor party and his wedding to Sif. This is an outtake from the original novel I'm working on, Some Say Fire, meaning it will not be in the book. Rating T due to implied Thor / Loki relationship. This is mythology Thor and mythology Loki, so they are NOT brothers. Also appearing: Eir, Sif.


Outtake 3: The Aftermath of Thor's Bachelor Party

Author's note: These Outtakes are independent story-scenes, so the Outtakes are not in a series, but they are all outtakes from the novel I am writing, Some Say Fire. The outtakes don't belong in the book for one reason or another. The reason this one does not belong in the book is because for this scene to happen, Loki has to be bad at shape shifting, but in my book he's good at it.

"What's taking you so long?" Thor asked. "We're going to be late to my wedding. I know it's not because you're doing your hair."

"Very funny," Loki said, emerging from the bathing room. He had flames where his hair should be. He was fully dressed, but he was limping slightly.

"What's that, the Ministry of Silly Walks? We don't have time for this. Sif will kill me if I leave her wondering if I've skipped out on her."

"Well, I was right, that royal purple outfit looks smashing on you."

"Yes, yes, you pick clothes well, you look put together too, so let's go already."

"It's this hip. The left one. I couldn't get it back in the right place after I resumed my usual form."

"Oh, that's great, it's just great, I'm going to show up to my wedding with the gayest man in Asgard walking funny."

"Bitch."

"You're my bitch, bitch."

"Hey, when I'm a lady, I'm a lady."

"You got that thing fixed yet?"

Loki sighed. "I am just going to have to fix it later. I'll have to walk around like this all morning. The things I do for you."

"Alright, fine, let's go." Thor opened the door and they walked down the hallway. "I can't believe I'm going to be in a new home tonight. I haven't even seen it yet. Do you know where it is?"

"No, except that Odin said it was far away from his."

"Don't remind me. It wasn't all my fault that Valhalla got trashed. You were there too, you know."

"I'm not the one that lightning-bolted the chandelier and started the fire."

"A little, tiny fire. And I smothered it with you."

"I'm not the one who broke all the tables and benches, either."

"I wouldn't have been swinging them if you hadn't kept running away. We could have had a stand up fistfight at close range."

"Which I would have lost."

"At least the pig of unlimited bacon survived."

"Do not mention the damned pig. Bragi has been following me around with a banjo."

"I thought he played the harp." They reached the door to the outside, and they went out into the gardens. "Hurry up."

"I'm limping as fast as I can." They could hear the crowd noise from around the corner. The wedding guests had already assembled, except that another straggler was just coming along, the healer goddess Eir.

Eir was dressed in a finer version of her usual green and copper gown and over-apron. "Loki, do you have a dislocated hip? Let me heal that for you."

"It is, yes. But I don't have time to go to your mountain right now. It'll have to wait until after the ceremony."

"You don't have to come to the mountain, the only equipment I need is a stable thing to hold you while I pull, and I think Thor here will do. Thor, hold him around the chest and brace yourself."

"Um, OK, Eir. Like this?"

"That will do fine. Loki, don't tense up, I need to pull this hip completely out of the socket to reseat it correctly."

"Can't we do this later?"

"It's better to do it as soon as possible. How did you dislocate it, anyway?"

"Um. Being a woman for Thor."

Thor said, "I can explain."

"No need. I'm a doctor. Now, Loki. It's OK to scream, but you have to relax and let me do this."

"That's what they all say."

Eir yanked and Loki screamed. When she let go, she and Thor set Loki on his feet and he tested his hip. "Hey, that's actually a lot better."

"You're still walking funny," Thor said. "But not in a dislocated hip way."

Eir said, "You may still have some residual muscle tension. If you need any further adjustments, come to my mountain and see me in my office tomorrow." She bustled off.

The two of them started to walk toward the festivities again.

Sif came around the corner. She was in her white wedding dress and had white flowers in her hair. She pointed at Thor with her bouquet. "There you are! Really, Thor, at our wedding?"

"What?"

"What do you mean, what, I only found you because I heard Loki scream. Now here he is walking funny."

"I can explain."

"Save it. The cake is drying out. The candles are halfway down on the altar. The flowers in my hair are wilting. Everybody is tired of standing around, so don't waste any more time trying to 'explain,' and get your storm-god booty over to that altar right now and you had better not summon any rainstorms, do you hear?"

"Yes, dear."

"Well, at least you have that part time. Come on." Sif grabbed Thor's hand and hurried off with him.

Loki was left to hurry after them as best he could. "Wait up, Bridezilla, I've got the ring."


End file.
